How to improve your communication with people remain a riddle to many christians
Assertiveness is one of the ways on how to improve your communication with people biblically. However, it is one of the most complex soft skills to acquire.
This is because we live in a society that we can easily be offended, but in which everyone demands transparency.
Surely you have found yourself in a situation where you are afraid to express what you think for fear of offending someone.
Perhaps, on the contrary, you speak without thinking and end up having an awkward moment, hurting someone with your words, or being misunderstood.
Finding enough empathy to care about the other, without going over my own rights or principles, is not easy. So, how to improve your communication with people?
However, in the Bible, we find some tips that can help us in communicating with others.
#1. Who you are talking to matters
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 4:6
This advice is interesting because it helps us to understand that in communication we should not generalize people, each one receives the message we are giving differently.
Maybe with my trusted friends I can express myself and speak in a certain way that to them is not offensive or proud. How to improve your communication with people is very crtitical.
It will hep us to know how to communicate with God
If I express myself in the same way with someone who is not from my circle of trust, I can simply give a message totally opposite to the one I wanted to give.
Maybe as you read these lines you’re remembering a situation where you ended up in a problem, taking on a responsibility you shouldn’t accept, or just doing something you didn’t want.
While we can’t find the exact style to speak to each person, we can have some general guidelines that will help us be more assertive.
#2. Think before you speak
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
Romans 12:3
As we contemplate Jesus more, our understanding is transformed into his likeness until we can more clearly understand how to improve your communication with people.
This includes what the verse above says, that we have no higher concept of ourselves than we should have.
To be good communicators we need to be humble and at the same time have good self-esteem, that is to say, to know the value we have, but not believe ourselves better than others.
This allows us to listen more, to be respectful to everyone regardless of rank, age, or profession; be cordial, and say what we think without having to disqualify the other.
That is, to know how to respond to each one in an assertive way.
#3. Be assertive
All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
Matthew 5:37
While the verse doesn’t refer to when we’re trying to talk to someone and only answer yes or no, it reminds us of something important, and that is that we have to learn to say no.
We can often feel bad about refusing to do something, but it’s important to learn to use this word in order to set clear boundaries and maintain our principles no matter the situation.
Saying no to the boss, or perhaps to the spouse, can have unintended consequences.
But if we know that the right answer in that situation is no, we must keep our peace of mind and try to be clear about why we respond that way.
This way, maybe the other person will understand your point of view and also accept it.
That’s why, if we’re not very used to saying no, we can start practicing with simple situations.
For example, if a friend asks you to accompany him to a weekday party, or shopping; you can calmly answer “I can’t because I’ll be tired the next day to go to work” or “I don’t really have time to shop with you, I hope you enjoy it”. This will assist on how to improve your communication with people
It is a cordial and sincere way to say no, and if you do not want to give an explanation you can also give a simple no, with a smile, and if you want you could propose a second option.
The same applies to saying yes.
When we say yes to a proposal or a question, it is because we are sure that is what we want to do and not simply to please someone else.
Then we will continue with another important point, and that is self-control.
#4. Listen to people attentively
Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.
Proverbs 16:32
This verse is interesting because we often believe that heroic actions are limited to great achievements, such as winning a project, saving someone from death, etc.
But Proverbs reminds us that controlling our emotions and especially anger is as heroic as conquering a city.
So to be assertive, we must learn to be emotionally intelligent. This is a way on how to improve your communication with people
If we are in a situation where our mind is clouded by emotions, and we do not know what to do, it is important to take a moment to calm down before responding or acting, until our mind is clearer.
Finally, we must remember that to be assertive is not to be aggressive or to get everyone to do what we want.
Nor is it blaming others for my problems or responding evasively.
To be assertive is to know how to speak to each one in the best way.
Sometimes we will have to use a more passive-aggressive style, for certain situations.
But never disrespecting someone or even ourselves.
Tell us, are you assertive? Do you think these Bible tips assist on how to improve your communication with people?
A hug, God bless you.
