Today we will talk about a topic that very few people touch. It is very common to talk about dating, but little is said about the dating of two people who accept God as creator.
This is one of the topics that is rarely mentioned in the churches, but that has a huge importance.
If you are here it is for one of two reasons, either you are in a Christian relationship and want to know how healthy it is, or maybe you are planning to start a relationship and want to be alert to the signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship.
These signs gradually damage your relationship and your spiritual life.
In order to know what the signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship are, we must answer the following questions: how do we know if a relationship is unhealthy, and how can we improve that relationship?
Two questions that will help us improve and find signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship that are not allowing our relationship to grow.
How to tell if a relationship is unhealthy
We are going to touch on different signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship and as we describe them, you are going to evaluate your relationship and see what are the points to correct.
#1 Carrying the spiritual life of your partner
Many times when people fall in love they give very little importance to this point, the level of spirituality of your partner, perhaps you have a study routine and within your thinking you believe that your partner is going to support you in that routine.
And if maybe at the beginning of the relationship he will accompany you and will show a happy face, but over time he will return to his own spiritual routine, and now you want him to continue with your spiritual routine in a way and by refusing come problems and arguments.
And now you start worrying about your partner’s faith, and wanting to take it with fights, to bring a personal routine to your partner, that is wanting to burden the spiritual life of your boyfriend or girlfriend. Because you are forgetting that salvation is something individual and that your level of spirituality can be the same as your partner, even if they do not perform the same routines.
My advice, in this case, is not to force your partner to have your routine, rather together create a routine in which you both feel comfortable at a time you feel comfortable and with a time you feel comfortable.
The bible invites us to come together to worship our heavenly father together as boyfriends or as a family, it says in the bible:
“Tribute the Lord, families of the peoples, tribute the Lord with glory and power; ascribe to the Lord the glory that corresponds to his name; come before him with offerings, worship the Lord in his beautiful sanctuary.”
1 Chronicles 16:28-29
#2 Not Following family advice
Yes, your partner is a Christian and perhaps in your eyes he is the boy you want, but always listen to the messages from your family, many times even if we do not like being told this boy is not for you, the repetitive message of the beings that they love you can bring an important message.
How many times have we not heard the stories where the mother asks the son not to go out, to stay at home, and the son decides to go out and something bad happens. If perhaps your family tells you that this boy or that girl is not for you, it is because even if he is a Christian, they know why it is not the best.
You want to know what are the signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship, listen to the advice of your family or those people who have already been through this long before you, give importance to their advice and make the best decisions for your courtship and your personal life .
#3 Putting your partner before God
This mistake is one of the most common in a Christian relationship. It is true that a dating relationship requires time, but you cannot allow your relationship to take away your time for God.
Many times when starting a courtship many of the people stop being so active and people come to think that courtship is bad for them. But in your intimacy, in your personal life, how is your communion with God? Do you no longer read the bible because you are talking to your partner?
Or you even go to bed so late talking to your partner that you forget to pray, that’s what I mean by putting your partner before God, your communion with God has to be counted.
If God is not the first thing in your life, no matter how Christian you or your partner is, your relationship will begin to fail, remember what the Bible tells us to put God before everything else:
“Whoever loves father or mother more than me, he is not worthy of me; whoever loves son or daughter more than me, he is not worthy of me; ”
Matthew 10:37
Now these are some small signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship, of many that can be found, these are some that are rarely talked about, but if you already have a relationship, you still have time to improve it and then I will tell you how we can do.
How can we improve that relationship?
The first and most important thing to improve your relationship as a boyfriend or girlfriend is:
#1 Improve your relationship with God
If your relationship with your father is not good, your relationship with your partner will not be either, spend time reading his word, talking to him, that your relationship with God will be the first step to improve your life and your relationship.
If the two of you make the decision to improve your relationship with God, you will also improve your lives at the same time. This is the greatest solution to remove all the signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship. That is why I want to share with you this beautiful text from the Bible:
“Finally, my brothers, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.”
Ephesians 6:10
#2 Talk about what bothers you and bothers them
They must create the habit of talking, of being honest with each other, of seeking a way out and an improvement in their courtship through dialogue, if as a couple they manage to create this habit in their courtship, in marriage they will have the tool to solve any difficulty.
Talking will unite them more as boyfriends and will allow them to get to know each other better as a couple and thus they will be able to generate plans and dreams for the future that will motivate them to continue together. In the bible there is a very nice text that reminds us that individually we must create this habit and tells us like this:
“Let your conversation always be graceful, seasoned {like} with salt, so that you know how you should respond to each person.”
Colossians 4:6
Conclusion
Let us remember that courtship and marriage relationships are of 3 people, allow Christ to dwell in your courtship, together you will be able to improve in all those common mistakes and not as common as the ones we share with you today.
Pray for your boyfriends and take the Lord’s hand and you will see how your lives and your courtships will improve greatly. I hope that these tips on how to find the signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship can be of great help to you, and that you can improve your life and your dating relationship.
Also, if you want to improve and go much deeper in your Christian dating, I recommend the following book Tips for Christian Dating: Biblical Principles for a Dating with a Purpose by Jorge Lozano.
And annexed to the previous recommendation, if you want to know how to treat a toxic person, we have the following article on how to deal with toxic people according to the bible.
