Today we will talk about a topic that very few people touch. It is very common to speak of courtship, but little is said about the courtships of two people who accept God as creator.
This is one of the topics that are little mentioned in churches, but it has a giant importance.
If you're here it's for either of these two reasons, whether you're in a Christian relationship and want to know how healthy it is, or maybe you're planning to start a relationship and want to be alert to the signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship.
These signs gradually damage your relationship and your spiritual life.
In order to know what the signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship are, we must answer the following questions: how do we know if a relationship is unhealthy, and how can we improve that relationship?
Two questions that will help us improve and find signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship that are not allowing our relationship to grow.
How to tell if a relationship isn't healthy
We are going to touch on different signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship and as we describe them, you will evaluate your relationship and look at what points to correct.
#1 Carry your partner's spiritual life:
Many times when people fall in love they give very little importance to this point, the level of spirituality of your partner, maybe you have a study routine and within your thinking you think that your partner will support you in that routine.
And if maybe at the beginning of the relationship he will accompany you and show a face of joy, but eventually he will return to his own spiritual routine, and you now want him to continue with your spiritual routine in a way and when you deny come the problems and the arguments.
And now you start to worry because the faith of your partner, and wanting to carry it with fights, to bring a personal routine to your partner, that is wanting to carry the spiritual life of your boyfriend or girlfriend. Because you are forgetting that salvation is something individual and that your level of spirituality can be the same as your partner, even if they do not perform the same routines.
My advice, in this case, is that you do not force your partner to have your routine, rather together create a routine in which the two feel comfortable at the time they feel comfortable and with a schedule that feels comfortable.
The Bible invites us to gather to worship our heavenly father together as brides and grooms or as a family, it says in the Bible:
"Pay tribute to the Lord, families of peoples, pay to the Lord glory and power; pay to the Lord the glory that corresponds to his name; stand before him with offerings, worship the Lord in his beautiful sanctuary."
1 Chronicles 16:28-29
#2 Follow family advice:
Yes, your partner is Christian and maybe in your eyes is the boy you want, but always listen to the messages of your family, many times even if we do not like to be told this boy is not for you, the repetitive message of the beings who love you can bring an important message.
How many times have we not heard the stories where the mother asks the son not to go out, to stay at home, and the son decides to go out and something bad happens. If maybe your family tells you that this boy or girl is not for you, it's because even if he's a Christian, they know why it's not the best.
You want to know what are signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship, listen to the advice of your family or those who have already gone through this long before you, give importance to their advice and make the best decisions for your courtship and your personal life.
#3 Put your partner before God:
This mistake is one of the most common in a Christian relationship, it is true that a dating relationship takes time, but you cannot allow your relationship to take away your time for God.
Many times at the beginning of a courtship many of the people stop being so active and people come to think that courtship hurts them. But in your intimacy, in your personal life, how is your communion with God? Don't you read the Bible anymore because you're talking to your partner?
Or you even go to bed so late talking to your partner that you forget to pray, that's what I mean by putting your partner before God, your fellowship with God has to be counted.
If God is not the first thing in your life no matter how Christian you or your partner is, your relationship will begin to fail, remember what the Bible tells us to overcome God before everything:
"He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; He who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; "
Matthew 10:37
Now these are some small signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship, of many that can be found, these are some of those that are little spoken, but if you already have a relationship, you are still in time to improve it and then I will tell you how we can do it.
How we can improve our relationship
The first and most important thing to improve your relationship as a boyfriend or couple is:
#1 Improve your relationship with God:
If your relationship with your father is not okay, your relationship with your partner will not be either, take time to read his word, to talk to him, that your relationship with God will be the first step to improve your life and your relationship.
If you both make the decision to improve your relationship with God, you will also improve your lives at the same time. This is the biggest solution to eliminate all signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship. That's why I want to share with you this beautiful text from the Bible:
"For the rest, my brethren, be strengthened in the Lord, and in the power of his strength."
Ephesians 6:10
#2 Talk about what bothers and bothers them:
They must create the habit of talking, of being sincere in one with the other, of looking with dialogue a way out and an improvement to their courtship, if as a couple they manage to create this habit in their courtship, in marriage they will have the tool to solve any difficulty.
Talking will unite them more as boyfriends and allow them to know each other more as a couple and thus be able to generate plans and dreams for the future that will motivate them to continue together. In the Bible there is a very nice text that reminds us that individually we must create this habit and tells us like this:
"May your conversation always be graceful, seasoned {as} with salt, so that you know how you should respond to each person."
Colossians 4:6
Conclusion
Remember that dating and marriage relationships are 3 people, allow Christ to inhabit your courtship, together you will be able to improve in all those common mistakes and not as common as those we share with you today.
Pray for your boyfriends and take the hand of the Lord and you will see how your lives and your courtships will improve greatly. I hope these tips on how to find the signs of an unhealthy Christian relationship can be very helpful, and you can improve your life and your dating relationship.
Also if you want to improve and deepen much more in your Christian courtships, I recommend the following book Tips for Christian Courtship: Biblical Principles for a Purposeful Courtship by Jorge Lozano.
And attached to the previous recommendation, if you want to know how to treat a toxic person, we have the following article on how to deal with toxic people according to the Bible.
