In a world with increasing numbers of divorces, and seemingly fewer and fewer happy marriages, God’s Principles for Marriage need to be put in the center and Christian marriages need to be a light in the dark.
Sharing life with a person completely different from one is naturally not an easy task.
But God has not left us adrift on this issue.
The Bible presents us with many principles about how to have a happy marriage.
Today, I would like to share six of God’s Principles for Marriage in order to bless you.
To do this, I invite you to read a few short verses from the Bible.
Biblical view of marriage
Lets start our review of the topic by looking at what the bible says about marriage.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body (…).
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy(…).
In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. (…)
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
| Ephesians 5:21-33
After reading these beautiful verses, I propose to share with you six observations that we can highlight from them that reveal to us God’s Principles for Marriage in order to have happy Christian marriages.
#1 Submit to one another
The first in our list of God’s Principles for Marriage is to submit to one another.
Our Bible text begins by reminding us that it is not only the wife must submit to the husband, as the apostle continues to recommend, but that it is a shared need.
Both spouses need to give up pride and selfishness in pursuit of mutual happiness and well-being.
The apostle Paul is constantly reminding the members of the churches he ministered to the importance of submitting to one another,
Not being selfish, but seeking mutual edification and happiness, as well as maintaining unity.
#2 Husbands prioritize respect, wives love
The second in our list of God’s Principles for Marriage is understanding the expectations of your partner in order to make them feel properly loved.
A few weeks ago, I was reading a book about marriage.
There, the authors argued that, after a big survey, they had found that if men had to choose between being loved or respected, most of us would generally choose respect.
A statement with which, as a man, I agreed.
They also found that women generally would choose love over respect.
At the end of our Bible text, we find that the apostle commands husbands to love their wives, but he does not tell wives to love their husbands, but to respect them.
In my opinion, understanding this point is a great step towards having a happy Christian marriage.
Men prioritize feeling respected, as a display of love that is more meaningful to them.
Women want to feel loved, this does not mean that they do not want to be respected, but for them, it stands out to feel loved.
A husband needs unconditional respect, a wife unconditional love.
#3 Do not try to dominate the will of your husband
The third of God’s Principles for Marriage is about how the wife should be mindful when interacting with her husband.
After recommending that we submit to one another regardless of gender, the apostle Paul reminds wives of the importance of respecting their husband.
This is why he invites wives to submit to their husbands.
That is, not trying to dominate his will.
Few things hurt a man’s virility more than a wife who always disagrees or is defiant.
A wife who does not allow a man to exercise leadership in his home is castrating him from his masculinity and condemning him to misery.
Without realizing it, she is condemning herself to unhappiness by destroying the man with whom she is going to share her life.
This is not to say that the wife has to surrender her will to the husband’s and become a victim of his whims.
What it means is that in order to have a happy Christian marriage, the wife must respect and encourage her husband’s leadership.
She must allow him to lead and support him in his leadership with her advice and love.
#4 Support your husband’s decisions
The forth of God’s Principles for Marriage is about supporting and encouraging the leadership of the husband at home.
At the same time that the apostle recommends that wives submit to their husbands, he is recommending that she respects his decisions.
This does not mean that wives have no right to participate in decisions at home, or that the husband is infallible.
As we have seen, both parties must submit to one other in love.
This is why the husband should try to consider carefully, with interest and care, the wishes and feelings of his wife when making any decision.
His decisions should seek the well-being and happiness of his wife and the family.
In a democracy of two, unanimity cannot always be achieved.
This is why, ultimately, when it is not possible to reach an agreement, the wife should support the husband in the decisions that he considers are best for the family, provided they are in accordance with biblical principles.
#5 Love your wife unconditionally
The number five in our list of God’s Principles for Marriage is that the husband must make the wife feel loved unconditionally.
On the other hand, if it seems that the command given to wives is difficult to apply, now the apostle raises the bar and gives the most challenging task to husbands.
Love the way Jesus loves.
Loving their wives so much that they can be willing to lay down their lives for them, as Jesus did for us.
Love them unconditionally, regardless of their flaws and mistakes.
Seeking their flourishing, their development, and their salvation.
Sadly, in many cases, this task is underestimated and not carried out as it should.
But God invites us men to love supernaturally.
#6 Provide for your wife, take care of her, and protect her
Our last of God’s Principles for Marriage is that the husband must be responsible of his duty to take care of his family, starting by his wife.
The apostle also tells husbands that just as they take care of their own bodies, so they must take care of their wives.
That is, if it is necessary, to provide for them.
Also, if applicable, to value and dignify their work at home.
Treating them with delicacy and love.
Making them feel cared for, valued, and protected.
It is my hope that if Christian couples put aside pride and selfishness and follow God’s principles together in order to make each other happy, then we will have stronger families that honor our God and contribute to our happiness.
If you want to further study this topic, I recommend you to read the book The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy Keller.
It may be useful to read about healthy and toxic relationships in the bible as well.
What do you think? Let us know if these tips have helped you. Share in the comments.
A hug, God bless you.